I’ve been working with a woman who’s been telling me about the abuse she suffered in her strict family in Abu Dhabi.
When she finally found the courage to tell her mother what was happening to her, the reaction she got was denial and shame. Denial that this could ever happen and shame on the family if anything should come out about it.
It’s a common reaction, but hasn’t been widely talked about – as far as I can see – in Muslim communities.
There is a conference going on in Riyadh this week (and I’m trying to get a delegate to blog here for you) which is looking at this issue – and child marriage. You don’t have to make a great leap to see the connection.
This article in the Saudi Gazette talks about how a 10-year old girl was married off by her father and that “it is common for a married girl to become pregnant at an incredibly young age. “
If Sharia law allows child marriage, isn’t it also saying that having sex with a child is OK?
Last month, the grand mufti, Sheikh Abdul Aziz Aal Al Sheikh, is reported to have said,
“If a girl exceeds 10 or 12 then she is eligible for marriage, and whoever thinks she is too young, then he or she is wrong and has done her an injustice.”
Do you find these words – if said- shocking ? Or , as unpalatable as it may be, is he merely upholding tradition ?
There is though, news now of an acknowledgement that child abuse is actually going on. Princess Adela bint Abdullah (who’s dad is King Abdullah) is there at the conference.
Also some action – detailed here in the Arab News says girls are going to get training to counsel families about child abuse.
Unfortunately that help wasn’t available for the Your Story citizen journalist who is recording her experiences at the moment, as an abuse victim in Abu Dhabi. You’ll be able to hear her words in the next week or so.
In the meantime, if you’d like to talk about anything I’ve raised in this post, or have any experiences to share, then we’d both be interested in hearing it.






12 comments
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March 6, 2009 at 2:25 pm
4nomadic
I don’t think it is useful linking child abuse to Islam – it plays into the hands of those that spread hatred by demonising this religion. Child abuse is evident in Christian communities, Hindu communities and atheist communities too – this is about problems in society, not in religion. Anyone who commits such a crime will bend social or religious values to normalise it.
March 11, 2009 at 10:51 am
Pinkhito
A topic worth mentioning. Islam needs to be addressed since it’s rules and regulations are used to govern Islamic states.
People in Islamic countries do not take child abuse seriously nor do they have laws to psychologically treat sexual abuse cases.
Sharia considers child abuse as rape and it does not in any way address the mental illness involved in helping or assisting the victim. It is time that such issues are brought to the attention of media.
March 15, 2009 at 8:25 am
charlie
No matter which religion a young girl belongs to, she should never be submitted to the terror and violence and violation that is child abuse.
To not recieve support from her mother is beyond belief … but why is it that the mother could not offer support?? there is so much more to this story than just child abuse, it is beliefs and values that are so ingrained the women in this story are torn by what their heart tells them, and what the men around them tell them …
Anyone who believes a CHILD of 12 is ready for marriage should be shot, i don’t care how long it has been done for …
The insanity has to stop …
March 24, 2009 at 2:04 pm
GERBAKA Bernard
1. I am not muslim
2. Islam does not protect child abuse, nor does Islam host a background for child abuse and neglect[CAN]. It is possible to find wordings in Qur’an [1300 years ago]and New testament [2000 years ago] that may be interpreted as potential indicators for maltreatment and violence against children [VAC]. However, a modern interpretation is growingly being inserted within legislative frames all around the arab world in order to comply with the requirements of the convention for the rights of child [Amman 2005=1st conference of the arab network for the prevention of child abuse and neglect, Syria 2006= symposium, Yemen 2007 = 2nd conference of the arab network for the prevention of child abuse and neglect, Lebanon 2008 =workshop of health and law in CAN, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia 2009=3rd conference of the arab network for the prevention of child abuse and neglect]. Since the regional 2005 United Nation Study on Violence (UNSV) conference in Cairo, the CRC Geneva meeting in 2006 and the UNSV remarks in 2007 and 2008, the arab region is now increasingly joining and building the United Nation efforts in order to prevent CAN and VAC.
3. Islam and christianity have been frequently exposed as religions who foster child abuse and protect perpetrators. In reality: Both of them offer texts of reference for child protection and human resources for the promotion of child rights and child protection. Both religions – and others – should however make those credentials clear, publicly develop strategies in this regard and give visibility to such commitments.
4.Child protection initiatives are however hindered in the middle-east by armed conflicts, and challenged by unstable socio-political situations. Furthermore, children follow sometimes, in terms of civil rights, inherited traditions and may be at the mercy of the different cultural references prevailing – and there is more than one, as shown in the Yemenite case, where ca 10 years old girl was subject to child sexual abuse, cultural abuse and early marriage on one side, but was also able to get a legal decision based on local – civil and religious – legislation to cancel the marriage; perpetrators were arrested, but rehabilitation lacks resources. Bottom line: such countries need support, not blame!
March 30, 2009 at 11:16 am
Fatima’s Story « Your Story
[...] March 30, 2009 in Middle East | Tags: abu dhabi, abuse, bbc, fatima, fatima. child abuse, IPSCAN, sexual, UAE, united arab emirates, world service, your story | by nina robinson Fatima from the United Arab Emirates has been working with me to tell her story of sexual abuse at the hands of her stepfather. Here’s the last blog post about it. [...]
March 30, 2009 at 5:48 pm
A. Hammoud
What Fatima went through with her step-father as a teenager is deplorable to say the least. My issue with the story has nothing to do with the rape and the abuse, but with generalization. It has to do with grouping 1.2 billion people from many countries under different laws and labelling them as one. Blaming what happened to Fatima in UAE on all Muslims and Islam, instead of dealing with the specific culture, country or person. No doubt, what Fatima went through is painful and has emotionally scarred her for life, and some justice should’ve taken place to vindicate her. My trouble with the story is her case never went to court or was never discussed under the Sharia law, so where is blaming Islam as a whole justified. I am confused.
Let’s compare Fatima’s story to the most famous rape and abuse case in the news – Josef Fritzl – Despite the monstrosity of his crime, there was never a mention of his religious background or blaming Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, or any religion or cult. He was judged based on his action as a man, and under the laws of the country.
Fatima’s story goes on to reveal that “Fatima was told by the UAE-based lawyer that under Sharia law, it was unlikely she would get a favourable outcome from any legal action against her stepfather.” I am not a lawyer, but common sense dictates, with no evidence or witnesses to collaborate Fatima’s story it would be unfavourable under any law. The opposite of that, of course, would’ve been to argue against the Sharia law, but I don’t see any excerpt from the Sharia law to support the argument.
I agree there should be more openness, more dialogue, and more teaching to bring awareness to the issue, not just in the Middle East but in many countries. However, in a time when we should be bridging the Gap between East and West, this story only supports the bigotry that Muslims have been suffering from, especially since 9/11.
April 6, 2009 at 9:45 am
Courtesy Please « Your Story
[...] and I moderate the comments. This post comes after a few comments on Fatima’s Story and this post linked to that [...]
April 7, 2009 at 5:01 am
Asma
I am a muslim woman and very proud of it. Fatimas case is the exaption not the role. what happend to her is painful but again unfortenatly hapens to many children arrownd the world. I can understand why her case wasnt brghout to the court . I admit that ppl in middle east are not ready for that yet but its very hard for me to beleave that every1 in her family was aginst her. What about her sistrs ? were they abused as well? nothing was mintiond about that. I keep thinking if she was that traped how did she mange to travel to USA all alone?….
The annoing thing to me is whenever a women is abused or kidnaped for 14 years or abused at a work place is only phscological or mental disorder. Also boming or killing ppl in a colege. but when it happens in middle east Islam is blamed.
I am a muslim women and proud of it . all the women in my family are highly educated and working and driving. I wear Abaia and the hed vial becouse i belive on it. no 1 is qusetioning why a nune is coverd from head to tou so why it is considered as a jale for me. My Hijab doese not stop me doing anything. another annoing thing is that most of the muslim women shown in the eastern media is either the abused 1 or the oes that they dont wear hijab which indicates indirectly that who wears hijab are bacworded and jailed by there familyes
April 7, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Salma H.
In the name of ALLAH..
one Muslim girl or boy or whomever was hurt or sinned, or was victim, accusation turns to ISLAM.. I’m a Muslim, and am proudly sayin’ that, cause I’ve read the Holy Quran, and got the best interpretation.
Unfortunately, Fatima, didn’t find the real help she needed. Islam doesn’t support abusers and DOESN’T ever punish a girl of such a incident, she was raped, she didn’t commit adultery, there’s a HUGE difference. No one supports rape, not Islam, not Christianity, not Judaism. Plus, The three religions don’t support ADULTRY.. Be aware of that too..
I totally support her for reveling this thing, but not making all that mess about Islam, and traditional costumes and social lifestyle. Cause not all families in the UAE or Muslim families aren’t as she mentioned.
Any man who rapes any woman should be extremely punished, like Fatima’s stepfather, he’s not innocent, who says he’s innocent, doesn’t know how to read ISLAMIC LAW in the right way. Islam saved women’s rights and wasn’t the result for women’ suffering. It’s human’s minds, cultural thinking that made people see traditions worth more than religion.. this is what Fatima may couldn’t differentiate.
Generalization mustn’t be in our analyzing or commenting to any subject.please don’t generalize!
Allah may bestow His Mercy upon our souls and bestow power to those victims of such dirty minds who exploit the reputationof Islam for their own sakes.
We don’t deny to make excues, I don’t deny Fatima’s story. There’re things, or reactions, I see can be done in total diffent way..
Best Regards..
A Jealouse Muslim Loves her Religion and Knows the BLESSING of being a Muslim.. hamdellah..
July 28, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Ghaniya
thank u salma… u read my mind… i’m an Omani girl!!
Oman is one of the Arab & GULF COUNTRIES… right next to UAE… i come from a MUSLIM OPEN MINDED FAMILY..
we’re sorry about Fatima’s story… but as the others mentioned, she did not state the facts correctly.. the family she came from is very CONSERVATIVE and NOT in a good way..
their traditions and family honour comes before anything else, even Religion.. unfortunately…
islam has nothing to do with her issues and she SHOULDN’T HAVE STRESSED THE WORD “MUSLIM”.. she could’ve emphasized more her ethnic background… STRICT OPPRESSESD ARAB
April 8, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Salmeen Mandokhail
I am Muslim and i am from Pakistan.
It is such a henious and barbaric action, i strongly condomn it but i request to all non-Muslims please don’t use imodest words for Islam. If in U.K or in Europe the same incident occurds every one says that it is part of enjoyment. my dear there is much diffrence in all societies even there is much diffrence in figures of a hand.
April 15, 2009 at 10:36 pm
ashwaq ameri
mmmmmmmm the problem not in islam
the problem in her step father if he was a good musilem he will no did this bad thing because this it not allow in isalm